Journals of a Gay Vegan: Journals

Daily Journal
August 16 through August 21

Monday, August 16, 1999
Well, I just completed the last final exam of my college career. I am done with college. I've graduated. But to be honest, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. I'm not excited to be done. I do look forward to moving out and getting a place of my own, to starting a new life, to getting a job, to being who I am. But I guess the excitement phase hasn't hit me yet. And honestly, I'm not really sure what to do now. Obviously I need to find a job. Had I known when I was going to graduate perhaps I would have had a job lined up already, but I didn't, and I don't. So I guess I'll begin the job search. And I guess searching for a job doesn't really excite me that much. But I suppose before you get to the scenic outlooks you have to hike through a monotonous trail of trees and dirt. I guess I had better lace up my hiking boots and update my resume. Tomorrow?


Tuesday, August 17, 1999
Today was just a day. Nothing special went on. Sort of boring, sort of not. Went to the store and got some dress clothes for the job fair saturday. Went to Barnes and Nobles with my mother and noticed the new issue XY Magazine (my favorite gay mag ever) was on sale. Of course I didn't buy it with my mother standing by (there's a picture of half-naked man on the cover), but of course I had to go back that night and buy it. But I didn't do too much else. Watched the two episodes of Will and Grace (the best comedy ever) [my mother's comments, "you must really like that show, I've never heard you laugh that much."--she says that like every week it seems like] and then I watched the Real World. Those are the only two shows I still watch faithfully. Aside from being the only two shows with gay stars, they are a just great shows. I love em.


Wednesday, August 18, 1999
Today I did a lot of thinking about what I want done in my life. Where I want to be. Hell, who I want to be. I was at the gym talking to one of the trainers about my commitment level, and I guess that's what sparked this all. I just joined this gym last Friday, so this is like what my third visit. And I enjoy working out, and I want to get in shape. But am I going to stick with it. As I drove around town, to various places for various things, that's what I had to ask myself, am I going to stick with who I want to be. I've successfully been a vegan (haven't eaten any meat, and have rarely eaten dairy products) for about 7 months. I've been honest about my sexuality for about 4 months now (although granted, not out to everyone). I'm in the process of finding a job (job fair this saturday). And now I'm in the process of getting back into shape and eating healthy. What are my motivations for getting into shape. Well, number one, I want to look better. Number two, I want to feel better. I enjoy swing dancing, but in my shape, I'm out of breath and sweating like crazy after 25 minutes of East Coast and Charleston, let alone Lindy Hop! I want that to change. So joining a gym was one step I've been wanting to take. And I'm pretty much gym-illiterate, so, so far I like Fitness USA since it does have the trainers there to walk you through your routine to personally make it fit your level. And I can feel it. Or I should say, I can feel how badly out of shape I am! But it's good. Now I just need to cut out the snacks. I've successfully given up caffeine, which wasn't, but I just wish my mom would stop buying so many snacks. They just spell out temptation. Oh well, I'm getting better. And I'm happy with were I'm headed. Well, I'm heading to Anderson tomorrow to go swing dancing with some friends. It should be a lot of fun. Then Saturday I have a job fair to go to in south bend, maybe something will turn up. I guess only the future knows what the future holds. We shall find out. Oh yeah, and I took the stud out of my ear and put in a ring. I like it. ;)


Thursday, August 19th, 1999
Today I went down to Anderson. The Indiana State Fair is running in Indy this week, and today was Swing Day. Several local swing bands that we were familiar with were playing and we went down to listen and dance. It was a lot of fun. Kelly Jay Orchestra was playing when we got there--They're the band that usually plays in Fountain Square on Friday nights. After that we listened to two more groups. 13 O'clock was the main group that played the last set. They were really good, and the trumpet player was really good looking. ;) It started pouring down rain during their last song. Pouring. We ran up to bleachers and sat it out. When the rain finally lifted we left. I'm spending the night at Linda Anderson's house. She seems to be pretty cool with the fact that I'm gay. I think her more fundamentalist beliefs tell her that it's a sin, but we're still able to joke around about what guys we both think are good looking. Green shirt man gets my vote. I'd let him teach me to swing any day. Well, I'm going to bed. Tommorow I'm going with Aimee Bough to Americorp where she is now working to see if I might want to work there.


Friday, August 20th, 1999
I couldn't really sleep for a long time. Partly because I wasn't used to going to bed so early. (I tried to go to sleep by 11 because I had to get up at 7). But mainly because I couldn't stop thinking about my family. I'm so ready to tell them that I'm gay, I must have played out my coming out scene a hundred times as I laid in bed. My dad's gone for the weekend, so I really want to take advantage of this opportunity and talk with my mom and sister. I thought endlessly of what words I should use to tell them this. "Mom, can I talk to you for a minute. I had a lot of fun while I was down in Anderson. And you know how I like going to church, and I like hanging out with my friends in the area. Mom, part of the reason I really like doing all that is because all of those people know something that I've been afraid to tell you. Well, you might already know, because I've never been good at hiding things, but mom, I'm gay. [pause] I guess I've been afraid of telling you and dad all this because I was afraid I might lose you, but I just have to be honest, I hate lying and pretending to be someone that I'm not." I want to tell my mom all of this when I get back. I hope and pray that I won't chicken out again. I want to come clean. The words will probably be totally different and I'll probably cry (I cried just thinking about it in bed), but I have to do it. I have to be who I am.

Friday, August 20th, 1999. Part 2
I went with Aimee to the elementary school where she's working there with the Americorp program. Until she was telling me about the program I wasn't really aware of Americorp's existence, let alone all of what they did. It really sounds like a great program. It's more service work than a professional job, and as such you don't get paid a professional salary, rather you get a bi-weekly living stipend. The project running out of Pendleton works with two local elementary schools helping certain kids get a step up. I love kids, and the program sounded really interesting, so I'm going to have to really think about the program and see if I might be interested in joining. At the end while I was filling out the application I was talking with another one of the girls in the program, and for some reason she brought up the principal and said "I think he's gay." I laughed because he burst into the room that morning singing "r-e-s-p-e-c-t" and was very flamboyant. But she tells me that he's married and has children, and how she thinks it must be sad for his wife to be married to a gay guy (even if he's in denial). Well, I don't know if he's gay, but I told the girl that when I first saw him enter the room my exact thoughts were, "Well, I can see this place isn't going to discriminate based on sexual orientation." It was just funny, but it was great to know that if I do work there, that my coworkers won't have a problem with my sexuality. Anyways, the job fair is tomorrow, so I'll still go to that and see what's available around South Bend. They also tell me there's an environmental americorp branch in Elkhart. Maybe I'll look into that as well. The truth is simple that I don't really know what I want to do. I was on campus again today, and although part of me wishes I wasn't done yet, I know that I don't belong there any more. I'm a graduate. But it was good to see some people I knew on campus while I was there. It's a good school. Well, tonight we're going swing dancing. It's Linda's birthday today, so we're also going to go out to eat. Happy Birthday Linda Anderson! It should be a lot of fun. I'll write again tomorrow, I've writen way too much today.


Saturday, August 21st, 1999
I did it. Thursday night I said it took me a while to fall asleep because I kept thinking about how I wasn't being honest with my mother about a part of me. Well, I finally told her the truth about me being gay. I'm so glad that I'm finally being honest. It was so hard hiding it. She was totally caught of guard, like most of the people that find out I'm gay. (Though a big number of people said, "Yeah, I figured as much."). She probably needs some time to work through things, but she reassured me of her love and that really meant a lot to me. I was right too, I cried. I couldn't help it. I couldn't talk for a while. But I got through it. I did it.

Saturday, August 21st, 1999. Part 2
I should write about how swing dancing went Friday night. It was Linda's birthday so we first ate at an Italian restaraunt. I swear to you one of the waitresses there looked like a cross between David Spade and Leonardo DiCaprio. I told the people we were with that I thought she resembelled those people and they thought I was crazy. But I swear it. I told Linda, "Don't you think she would be really cute if she was a guy?" She just cracked up laughing and didn't answer my question. Well, I would date her if she was a guy. ;) Well, after dinner we went out dancing at Fountain Square. Linda surprised us by bring along our friend Cheri, who we hadn't seen in the longest time. She was working in a program in New Jersey with at-risk youth. She's such a great person, and I was so glad to see her again. We taught her to swing dance and she caught on really quick. It was a lot of fun. I dressed up in shirt/tie and suspenders and had a blast. Me and Aimee left at about 11 pm because she had to get up at 7 am and I had to drive 4 hours home. Anyways, now I'm back home and deciding what I want to do with the next year of my life. Americorp has some great programs and I'll be calling them all Monday and making a decision really quickly. Well, I have church early in the morning and I do not want to miss it. I overslept last week.


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